Don’t get your turkey in a twist

Ten scary things you don’t want to hear at Thanksgiving dinner table

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Don’t get your turkey in a twist

Addie Orr, Editor in Chief

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Thanksgiving is a time to give thanks for what we have, but it is also a time for extremely awkward interactions with family members you haven’t seen since Christmas, eating way too much food and the inevitable fights between relatives across the table from each other. Here are the 10 scariest things for teens to hear at the Thanksgiving dinner table.

  1. So what are you involved in at school?

Every student is pretty well-acquainted with this question. With all eyes on you, you are forced to apprehensively tell your way-too-judgy relatives whatever they want to know about your organization. The conversation always ends with everyone awkwardly shoving food in their mouth, silently judging you.  

  1. You look… interesting…

Whether it’s a new haircut or the latest trend, someone is not going to like it. That’s perfectly fine; everyone is entitled to their own opinion. However, the vague passive-aggressive tone turns the phrase into a biting insult that weighs in the back of your mind the rest of the meal.

  1. When I was your age…

The classic phrase coined by grandmothers everywhere will instantly launch anyone over 50 into a long rant of days long since past. They tell story after story about days without technology and when kids still went outside. Their sometimes horrific tales somehow maintain a judgy tone of how kids these days are lazy and never do anything.

  1. Did you hear about so and so?

With these words, the table can quickly turn into a tea spilling party. The drama rapidly unfolds and everyone is left knowing everyone else’s dirty little, probably not true secrets and with left with enough blackmail until the next Thanksgiving.

  1. The turkey might be a little dry

Everyone knows that when the cook says the turkey is dry, that means it is most likely burnt or just far too overdone. Sometimes it turns out okay when completely smothered in gravy or cranberry sauce, but other times it’s not worth the effort. With the main course gone, the hope of surviving the meal lessens. You just have to hope the sides are edible.

  1. Where are you going to college?

Planning for the future is terrifying enough already, but when judgy relatives come into the picture, the pressure builds even more. Some people have planned the next 30 years of their life, but for those who don’t even know what they’re doing right now, the question ensues too much stress and too much over-thinking than should be allowed at the dinner table.

  1. What are you majoring in?

An even worse continuation from the previous one, this one delves beyond just where you’ll spend the next four years of your life and into what you will be doing for the rest of your life. The already overwhelming pressure of choosing the right thing to major in spirals out of control when this question is asked and when  your relatives are suddenly interested in the rest of your life, career, finances, etc.

  1. Any news on a special someone?

When this question is asked, it seems that everyone automatically leans in to hear about your high school love life. They continue to investigate until they worm an answer out of you, making you uncomfortable and making them feel way too smug.

  1. When your joke turns into a lecture

Every teenager knows the feeling when you make a seemingly harmless joke and someone turns it into a lecture about behavior or ‘kids these days’. Every adult at the table will suddenly turn to glare at you, as if to make you feel awful about making one joke.  

  1. Anything involving politics

Only one thing could really spiral a casual Thanksgiving dinner conversation into a complete brawl: politics. Talking about the latest governmental policies can result in one uncle in a headlock or someone walking straight out the door. Conflicting views are enough to shatter a family and completely ruin a Thanksgiving dinner. But hey, at least that means more leftovers for you.